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I’m not advocating excessive alcohol consumption during this seasonal period,especially during work parties, but if I had a choice of remembering impromptu sexual activities, I’d rather the post coital alcohol induced memory lapse over the blow by blow detail.
Sure enough, people have different faiths but I wouldn’t be wrong in detailing all that can go wrong during the common Christmas office party. Innocent on the outside, as the hours continue, the effects of alcohol set in and before you know it, you’re finding the belligerent financial controller sexy. In fact, he’s gone from fugly conservative, to dirty-boy handsome bad boy in two hours and you’re imaging huge sexual potential.
This has actually happened to me….numerous times and in normal circumstances (non-Christmas party), I’d call myself a quick learner, but add a few festive parties, the excitement of another new year and oodles of retail therapy, I hit a blank wall and tend to find myself stuck in the vortex of post Christmas party, post-coital introspection. Unfortunately for me, I’ve been one to remember every painstaking detail afterward and ask myself what possessed me to go ahead.
You see alcohol is one of the worst additives to sex. Companies now include the statement, “Drink responsibly” in most advertising content but I think they should include the following:
“Alcohol impedes erectile function and the feminine sexual response. Orgasms may be compromised and sexual choices may be regrettable once the hangover sets in.”
After a few erroneous sexual choices, I decided to stand firm and avoid the alcohol during any Christmas party – especially all my family parties (where relatives decided to play matchmaker). Avoiding alcohol during family functions can be a huge bummer. Alcohol can take the edge off nosey aunts and nagging parents (“Eat! You’re looking frail/thin/unhealthy”).
This seasonal period, be safe and most importantly, don’t use beer goggles to evaluate the alleged sexual talent at any party.
Most importantly, be safe and…have fun.
Until 2010…
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