Sexual Disclosures

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I think that this year will be the year of sex rehab and Tiger Woods will be more a poster child for sexual rehabilitation centers than the game of golf. It can only be more bizarre, with news that Elin Nordegren will be looking forward to ‘Disclosure’ day at the rehabilitation center. I don’t know whether to believe these crazy stories and they’re crazy all right. There’s something new each day, usually bordering on the ridiculous.

After all she’s endured already, now, as part of Tiger Woods‘ sex addiction treatment at the Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Clinic in Hattiesburg, Miss., she must spend a full seven days with him ,taking part in what is called “Family Week,” including what will be for her a horrifying “Disclosure Day,” according to a bombshell report in the National Enquirer. During this disclosure session, Tiger will have to look Elin in the eye and give her a full description of every sexual transgression he has made.

That means he must give her every detail of all his sexual encounters with his alleged 15 mistresses,  plus come clean about every other cheating episode that may not have been revealed yet!

Tiger is enrolled in the Gentle Path program which is specifically tailored for individuals suffering from sexual addiction.The disclosure session- basically a gauntlet of shame- is part of the prescribed treatment by Gentle Path director Patrick Carnes, Ph.D, a national expert on sexual addiction.

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Far be it for me to criticize American doctors, therapeutic approaches and so on but the idea of shaming a person into the path of wellness doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe shame them into the path of repression, rage and resentment, but shaming people hasn’t been proven to work in the long run.

Disclosure works for some and fails for others. I’ve heard stories about erring spouses confessing their affairs and spouses have been known to demand sexual details about their seemingly sexual competitors, for little return. It may motivate some ‘wronged’ spouses to work on their relationships, but I see it as emotional blackmail and additional pressure. People generally don’t have affairs because of the superficial matters. It’s not about being a size zero, owning a pair of size H breasts or relenting and participating in an orgy or swingers party for your ‘erring’ spouse -the so-called compromises that are supposed to be part of a relationship. As a woman who, at one point, endured endless harassment from a boyfriend about participating in a threesome and dumping his nagging ass, I can only see the manipulative aspects behind the sexual compromise just as I see the futility of being the psychic sponge, to absorb the lurid confessions of an erring partner.

So how would that make Elin feel? I can’t speak for women who are married with multi-million prenuptial agreements. Perhaps they operate on a different level than the everyday woman who has to put in a forty to sixty hour working week (add more hours if that woman is a mother).

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