Colds Aren’t Sexy

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While I think that there is always something attractive in everyday life, or that a positive can be extracted from an adverse situation, I can’t think of anything wonderful about colds and  the flu.
Firstly, joints ache and heads feel stuffier than an overloaded suitcase. Then there is the snot impacted nose and, wouldn’t you know it, there is -for some weird reason- the inability to really get into any mutual or solo form of sex. I don’t care what people say to up-talk sex while battling terrible colds, such as them being able to fuck in the middle of a blizzard, it’s difficult to do anything and no, most medications don’t eliminate cold symptoms.
Take my current situation. I’ve found it incredibly difficult to masturbate with the discomfort of an elevated body temperature and stuffed sinuses. In bed, I try to keep my head elevated, but find that I need to turn my head every so often to drain my sinuses. Mind you, I’m on a diet of constant – round the clock – paracetamol. Then there are the sneezes, and when I’m out of Kleenex, I do what people don’t admit to doing, I literally suck it up, only for it to develop into throat congestion, so I end up developing a phlegm-filled cough that doesn’t give me any erotic favors.
Then there are the obvious traits: reddened nostrils from constant nose wiping with Kleenex. Even the aloe vera impregnated tissues don’t seem to work. The other fact, the retarded sense of taste, may initially be nice where oral sex, specifically swallowing, comes into play (I’m sorry, I’ve tried but I don’t like the taste of semen: that’s one thing the R & D departments of sex accessory companies can surely work on), but I don’t fancy my chances of successfully blowing someone with a stuffy nose and sinuses, while experiencing a frequent cough reflex.
In this world of political correctness and sex positivity, I’d have to be a party pooper and say that no, colds and ‘flu aren’t really sexy.
I even sound like a transvestite, albeit not as sexy as Dr Frank N Furter.

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