What a Tiger! Doing a Tiger

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Where to begin with Tiger Woods? The one thing about the Woods scandal is that it overlaps decades, which kind of makes it novel. Unlike TMZ.com, I don’t keep track of the days as they do, but the February 2010 issue of Vanity Fair is bound to keep Tiger’s name in bright lights -for all the wrong reasons. It’s how my friend Joe tells it:

“This dude is worse than the Kennedy brothers, the golf equivalent of Warren Beatty.”

I said. “The Warren Beatty bit isn’t even close. Beatty has notched up more punani but he didn’t rely on endorsements and didn’t act the role model.” The difference between Beatty and Woods: Beatty didn’t live a lie. Sure it took him  a few decades to sow his wild oats, but he settled down with Annette Bening and we haven’t heard about any more sexual exploits ever since.

Joe offered up a new phrase – doing a Tiger – for those who were incorrigibly adulterous.

Sometimes I wonder why Woods is on the cover and whether his status, on a high profile magazine like VF, glorifies his philandering and general bad (narcissistic) behavior, but it has to be acknowledged that magazines produce stories months in advance, so they couldn’t really anticipate the scandal but, like all enterprises, if you can use the lemons for lemonade, why not? Staffers (the magazines, advertiser’s, etc) depend on their salaries in this unpredictable financial era.

There are so many stories about Woods. Some publications discuss his wife’s hunt for his millions while others are writing about his secret shrink sessions in a multi-million dollar estate. And now there are even reports of a sex tape – that Vivid Entertainment are reviewing for, wait for it…authenticity. I’m guessing that one disgruntled ‘mistress’ is seeking a lot of greenbacks. Even if there is a sex tape, it can’t be released without Tiger’s approval and the way his endorsements are going, maybe he’ll need the money.

But back to the cover. All these images, that show him in various stages of, err, undress and working up a sweat remind me of bodybuilding magazines like Muscle & Fitness, replete with their ego-driven bodybuilders saying crap like, “Oh, I’m this big because of my natural diet” (double speak for steroids).

With Tiger Woods, the question remains: Is it really about sex addiction? The VF story discusses Woods’ double life, basically the lies he has created to camouflage his sordid private life and immense lies can, and usually, involve other aspects of life, such as the issue of being a drug cheat:

Things are only continuing to cascade downward for Woods. Sexcapades aside, the most damning blow to his reputation may well be his link to Anthony Galea, a doctor who has been charged in Canada with trying to smuggle an unapproved drug into the country. In the United States, Galea is reportedly suspected by federal officials of dispensing illegal human-growth-hormone drugs to athletes, an allegation he denies. According to news accounts, Woods saw the doctor on several occasions to aid his recovery from knee surgery. There is no proof that Woods took performance enhancers, and sources say Woods is not part of the federal investigation, though as far back as 2007, sportswriters covering him could not help but notice that from the back he was beginning to look like Barry Bonds. But since he was Tiger Woods, they gave him a free pass. Now, whether Tiger is innocent or not, suspicion will linger.


Update: Now Radar Online has an exclusive about a mistress revealing Tiger’s alleged gay romps. What is next?

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