The Most Pleasure

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Women’s bodies earn publishers a mint. It’s all about alleged flaws. Flaws for whom? But they do become our flaws if we give in and accept the differences, and each woman is definitely different but celebrities live on a different planet and often pretend to visit the real world to either maintain their popularity or seem as though they’re just the same and here’s the rub: they’re not the same.

The average female celebrity, especially after giving birth, strangely looks as though she stepped out of a gym. Female celebrities are also renowned for having ‘mommy tucks’, immediately after Caesearian sections.

Take a look at the magazine cover on the left. Click it to enlarge and check out each headline. The headline that is in the largest font/that stands out the most isn’t the headline about having the most pleasure in bed, but the ‘3 Easiest Ways to Lose Weight’.

Um, hello. Losing weight safety and for the long term, is far from easy. It requires as much commitment as a long-term relationship, if not more.

But the most amusing aspect of these sorts of magazines like Self, is that the celebrity on the cover utters things that we really know to be untrue (celebrities are usually narcissistic control freaks who demand a controlling approval of their images before publication and, as Demi Moore has proven with her lawyer, after) as well as outright contradictions. From the Self interview with Jessica Alba:


“Even though some might consider them a flaw, I’ve learned to love my stretch marks. Pregnancy was the most incredible experience I’ve ever had. So I’ll take the stretch marks. I’ll take the sagging boobs. I’ll take the cellulite I can never get rid of. If you walk around with your head held high and you’re happy and positive, then all that other stuff is irrelevant. Confidence is number one.”

Reality: It’s only when these actresses appear in candid shots that we don’t ever see stretch marks so when they come out with the above, like Jessica, it’s quite amusing.

Contradiction (to the magazine cover about weight loss):

“Diets are for the birds. I think you have to eat in a way that makes you feel your best. I include a lot of vegetables and lean protein and fruit and grains in my diet. I’m not a big workout person. Every single day, I tell my girlfriends we’re starting a regimen. And then it’s, like, ‘Want to get dinner? Want a glass of wine?’ “

If diets are, as Jessica says, ‘for the birds’ then how did she miraculously slim down after the birth of her daughter? Yes, I’ve added this post to the bizarre category because I find these female celebrities exactly that. They’re bizarre, right down to their Botox!

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