The Ultimate Valentine Embarassment

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With less than 24 hours left to Valentine’s Day, it’s with a heavy heart that I say that I haven’t been able to find something that is really different to the usual Valentine fare that is out there. Flowers, chocolates, adult toys, food, luxury gifts, is there anything that is left out of the Valentine’s Day list and is this day affected by other things?

One interesting article I read discussed the significance of the day, particularly its position on the calendar. As this Valentine’s Day falls on a weekend, the article went on to discuss the impact this would have on, let’s say, extra-marital liaisons and how it would affect floral choices. This, I find difficult to believe. There are so many online florists that make floral shopping easier. Besides, nothing is more unoriginal than red roses on this day, right? They’re no original and even if one has a Valentine that happily dispatches a bouquet of long stemmed red roses, it’s not like millions of others aren’t receiving the same or similar around the globe.

Yes, less than 24 hours to go, and I have to say that I’m really over it already. After all the promotional emails and online articles, I can say, ‘Whatever!’ But the thing that actually taunts me, which I find slightly embarrassing, even though there are worse things things to be embarrassed about, is the fact that I haven’t indulged in Valentine sex and that, I believe, is the source of the rapid onset of frustration each year. Valentine’s Day advertising campaigns begin and while they’re not too terrible, in fact many are sublime in their prettiness, as the day nears, I just feel fucking cheated. Then I’ll tell myself that it’s not me, it’s them – a reversal of the ‘it’s not you,it’s me’ speech. It’s the retailers, god bless them, with their greed and saccharine campaigns that promise a higher quality of loving if you just spend a little extra or consider maxxing out your credit card.


Now for someone to write a Valentine alternative to The Christmas Carol.

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